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HOW (NOT) TO SHAG A MERMAN

Hey there, fellow adventurers! Today, we’re delving into the mysterious and often misunderstood world of mermaids. While they may seem like the stuff of legend and fairy tales, let’s face it, we’ve all wondered what it would be like to shag a mermaid. But before you take the plunge (literally), there are a few things you need to know. So, without further ado, here’s my guide on how (not) to shag a merman.

First and foremost, let’s talk about mermaid anatomy. Mermaids have a unique physical structure that differs from humans. They have a tail instead of legs, which can make things a bit…complicated. So, before you even think about getting it on with a mermaid, make sure you have a good understanding of their body and how it works. This will not only help you avoid any awkward situations but also ensure that both you and the mermaid are comfortable.

Next, communication is key. Just like in any relationship, it’s important to have open and honest communication with a mermaid. Find out what their boundaries and limits are, and respect them. Remember, mermaids are not just a sexual fantasy; they are actual beings with their own feelings and desires. By taking the time to communicate and understand them, you’ll be able to have a much more enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

Now, let’s move on to the actual act. When it comes to shagging a mermaid, it’s important to be gentle and slow. Their bodies may be different from ours, so it’s crucial to take things at their pace. And don’t forget about the water! Mermaids live in a watery environment, so you’ll need to be comfortable and confident in the water. This might mean taking some swimming lessons or spending some time getting used to being in the water before you take things to the next level.

Another important factor to consider is the mermaid’s culture and society. Mermaids have their own ways of doing things, and it’s important to respect that. For example, some mermaid cultures may have specific rules or traditions regarding sexual relationships. By taking the time to learn about and respect their culture, you’ll show that you’re not just interested in a one-night stand, but in building a genuine connection.

And finally, let’s not forget about consent. No matter how beautiful or alluring a mermaid may be, it’s always important to get clear and enthusiastic consent before any sexual activity. This means making sure they are truly okay with what’s happening and that they are not being pressured or forced into anything.

So there you have it, my fellow seafarers! A guide on how (not) to shag a mermaid. While it may seem like a wild and fantastical idea, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, mermaids are just like us – they deserve respect, kindness, and a whole lot of TLC. So, next time you find yourself tempted by the siren song of a mermaid, remember these tips and do your best to make it a magical and memorable experience for both of you.

Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Do you have any questions or comments? Share your stories in the comments below and let’s start a conversation! Until next time, keep exploring those uncharted waters and have fun! 😊

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